The Anxious Physicist

Personal blog of Dr Alex Mendelsohn

Tag: PhD

My work routine

August 30, 2022 /

Alex discusses how they struggled with overworking and stress while doing their PhD work. They explain how they started meditating between 25-minute work sessions, which helped them to focus better and catch mistakes. He also talks about how they switched from task-oriented scheduling to theme-oriented scheduling, which allowed for more flexibility. They used a large whiteboard and created a crude week layout, which included headings like “Before Work,” “Morning,” “Afternoon,” and “Evening,” and a column for each day of the week. Alex assigned themes like “PhD Work,” “Personal,” “Gym,” “Admin,” and “Cleaning,” and then assigned associated tasks to each theme. This approach allowed them to structure their day, while also providing flexibility to move things around as needed.

I realised quite quickly on returning to my PhD that it was immensely difficult to pull myself away from work when I was in the middle of trying to do a task or solve a problem. The “I can’t leave the problem until it is solved” feeling. As time went on, it would feel like I was getting closer to a solution, that I had laser focus, but in reality, I had tunnel vision. As time went on I became more and more stressed meaning my ability to solve the problem worsened. Further, if I went past the 25-minute mark, my stress levels would rise almost exponentially. It would potentially wipe me out for the day, or for a particularly frustrating problem, two. During which I would be limited to very simple tasks which would still feel quite painful to do. Meditating as a break in between 25 minute work sessions seemed to allow me to work for the full day.

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Imposter syndrome – part 2

July 31, 2022 /

Starting a PhD is daunting to say the least. The gap in knowledge between research and undergraduate study is a rather large one. Therefore many students, like myself, have experienced ‘imposter syndrome’ – the feeling that it was a mistake on the academics to choose you for the PhD project but they do not know yet. Here, I suggest perspectives that might help deal with this phenomenon. Part 2 of 2

Alex writes about his experiences with mental health and how talking about it has led to fruitful conversations with others. During one such conversation, he realized that seeing imposter syndrome from the PhD supervisor’s point of view may help those who are afraid to ask for help. Alex explains that the fear of being kicked off the PhD is a primary symptom of imposter syndrome and that seeing the situation from the supervisor’s perspective can counteract this fear. He notes that a PhD student is at the beginning of their career, while the supervisor is likely closer to retirement, and choosing a PhD student is a major commitment. Alex emphasizes that a supervisor invests in a PhD student and it is within their interest to help with any problems or feelings the student has. He encourages students who feel like they are struggling to reach out to their supervisor and colleagues and that imposter syndrome does not have to last any longer than they decide. Alex concludes by saying that his PhD experience taught him that it is rather overrated and that he was no different the day after his viva than the day before.

Opening up about my own experiences of mental health through talks had a surprising side effect. People started to message me about their experiences and problems, some I go on to meet. I have found these conversations fertile ground for new ideas involving mental health. An important one of the many reasons why discussing mental health is beneficial. In one such conversation, an individual came to me about imposter syndrome. During our conversation, I realised that seeing imposter syndrome from the point of view of the PhD supervisor may help those feeling afraid of asking for help.

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Imposter syndrome – part 1

June 30, 2022 /

Starting a PhD is daunting to say the least. The gap in knowledge between research and undergraduate study is a rather large one. Therefore many students, like myself, have experienced ‘imposter syndrome’ – the feeling that it was a mistake on the academics to choose you for the PhD project but they do not know yet. Here, I suggest perspectives that might help deal with this phenomenon. Part 1 of 2

This blog post discusses imposter syndrome, the feeling of inadequacy despite having achieved success. Alex suggests that understanding and knowledge are two different concepts and that a researcher’s job is to extend their understanding to gain new knowledge. He argues that while it is normal for new researchers to feel like imposters when they are surrounded by people with more knowledge than them, they should focus on their ability to draw new lines of understanding. Alex believes that vivas test understanding, not knowledge, and that one’s ability to derive new understandings from previously known concepts is what defines a good researcher.

My PhD supervisor and I were standing in the lab preparing a sample for the electron microscope. It is a semi-dull activity, rich in opportunity for conversations about the minutia of life. I mentioned to him I was worried about the viva. I have always struggled with thinking on my feet. When my mind is stressed in such a way it takes the option of shutting down completely, leaving the occupier (i.e. me) to stare blankly at the wall. After some much-needed reassurance and useful advice, he says something which piques my interest. He mentions the viva is a “test of your knowledge”. Curious, I respond “I thought it was a test of my understanding?”. “Well”, he says in a semi-throwaway manner, “what really is the difference between understanding and knowledge.”

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