In the past, I have been refused treatments that eventually worked, and had interactions with past clinicians that unintentionally drove me towards suicide, rather than away from it.
It took me a very long time to find a psychiatrist I trust. Once I did, we landed on a combination of medications that have progressively eased my symptoms over the last couple of years. I take one of these medications off-label (this means that the medication is licensed for another condition, not the one I am taking it for). My current psychiatrist is the first I have met willing to prescribe this medication.
During my recovery, I plan to communicate my diverse range of experiences over as many platforms as I can find. However, within most of these stories, I will criticise the fields of psychiatry, psychotherapy and some parts of neuroscience. While the risk is relatively small, I don’t want my current (private) psychiatrist to recognise me as the author of the articles I plan to write. Although I have a lot of praise for them, I am worried they may discontinue their service.
Ideally, I want to work with people focusing on mental health and the central nervous system subjects. I believe my story, lived experience, personality, communication skills and education in physics could be beneficial to those willing to listen. My insights are valuable – as are others with severe mental illness. I hope my unique perspective will help prevent what happened to me from happening to other people.
I am quite happy to reveal who I am to those willing to help me.
Once remission of my symptoms has been achieved (and I feel safe enough), I will forgo my anonymity entirely. Although, for continuity and searchability, I still hope to use Alex Mendelsohn as a pen name. I hope this blog post has helped to clarify my position a bit better.